The Problem of Time

Time is a problem for me. I often don't know what to "do" with it. I sense that it is a scarce and precious "resource" with ethical and, more fundamentally, theological prescriptions regulating its use and misuse. In other words, the "gift" of time comes with certain responsibilities and obligations.

Like most other gifts I can use it ("Use your time wisely"), give it ("I can give you some time on Monday"), ask for it ("Could I have a moment of your time?"), lose it ("I've lost track of time"), ignore it ("Pay no attention to the time"), waste it ("What a waste of time"), misuse it ("That really wasn't a good use of time"), and use it well ("He makes good use of his time"). Unlike other gifts, though, I can't decline it or get away from it in this life. I have to make some "use" of it, for good or for ill.

I can't help but seeing the "problem" of time as first and foremost a theological problem. What does God expect and desire for me to do with my time? How do I use it faithfully? That is the question that most troubles me. I think it troubles me because I so rarely feel confident that I am answering it correctly, particularly in the day-to-day details of my life. For instance, writing this blog; a faithful use of my time? Isn't there something better, more important, more beneficial to the work of God in the world than sitting at my keyboard and writing this right now? Am I then sinning?

The problem, I think, has to do with the ordering of goods. For me, as for Jesus, the highest good, is the Kingdom/Will of God. All other decisions and actions ought to be subordinate to and ordered towards its growth/accomplishment. But what does that mean when it come right down to it? How could I possibly know which decisions/actions will best promote an end so diffuse, complex, and mysterious as the Kingdom of God? I can't. I must have help.

Whence does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. In the Scriptures. In the traditions and liturgies of God's people (Israel and the Church). In the lives and words of the Prophets, both canonical and non. And in my own personal, existential experience of the Spirit's guidance.

None of these by themselves, or taken together, can provide me with certainty that I am in every moment using my time well, of course. That kind of certainty is unnatainable, and perhaps, even, undesirable. For no doubt it would quickly lead me to believe that it is me and my own good actions that are bringing about the redemption and salvation of myself and of the world (i.e. the kingdom/will of God), when in fact, it is wholly the gracious work of the Lord. Thus faith.